Destined to Explode
by FoolsRushIn
Summary: What if Joshua had never come back in TOW the Fake Party? Chandler and Rachel are left alone to discuss their pathetic love lives. Randler.
1. Pathetic Losers

**Author's Note: So, I've had this idea for awhile. I think Rachel and Chandler would be really good together. I do love Mondler and Ross and Rachel but, I feel like there aren't enough Randler fics and I just love them together. Anyways, the beginning lines are stolen from the episode in the fourth season TOW the Fake Party. I don't own anything to do with the show or the actors. Basically, all the history of the show is the same up to this point. This is my first Friends story, so I hope it's not too terrible. I hope you like it. Read and Review, please?**

Rachel sighed as Ross got up off the step and walked back into the apartment to spend time with Emily. She leaned her head against the wall and suddenly felt more like banging it against the wall. She wasn't jealous of Ross, she really truly wasn't. Although, she hated how serious his relationship was getting with Emily; not necessarily because she wanted Ross but she wanted a relationship like that. She thought it would be with Joshua, but that was before she made a complete idiot out of herself. She was hoping that maybe he would come back but it didn't seem likely. She looked up as the door to her old apartment opened and Chandler walked out carrying a bag of trash. He offered her a small smile. "Hey," she mumbled, still slightly embarrassed by her behavior earlier.

"Hey," He said closing the door behind him. Then she realized that Chandler had never had much luck with women, if anything he had just as pathetic of a love life as she did. She gave him credit for never stooping so low as to wear a cheerleader uniform but she was sure he had done things almost equally humiliating. She did know one thing though, misery loves company.

"You're a pathetic loser, right?" Rachel questioned knowing he would agree with her.

"Oh, yeah." He said giving her a small understanding smile.

"Sit!" She exclaimed patting the spot next to her on the stoop. They sat there in silence for a moment contemplating their miserable love lives. "God, I'm such an idiot." She replayed the events of the night in her head, feeling her cheeks go red. Chandler patted her back supportively and shook his head.

"It could be worse."

"How?" She asked, putting the ice back on her fat lip.

"Well, you could be me." He said in attempt to make her feel better, but also because it was true.

"Chandler, I am 28 years old dressed in a cheerleading uniform with a fat lip in an effort to get a man. Not only did I not get Joshua but I totally mortified myself in front of the guy I like, all my friends, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. Tell me, how could your life possibly be worse right now?"

"I lost Kathy because I accused her of cheating on me when she wasn't and then she actually did cheat on me. Then once I finally left the house I ran into Janice, who might just be the biggest mistake of my life. And instead of being a normal guy and just breaking up with her, I ended up on a plane to Yemen." They both laughed shaking their heads at how ridiculous and pathetic they both sounded.

"Call it even?"

"Deal," He held out his hand for her to shake.

"So, what do we do now?" She asked after a moment of silence.

"I think this is when we go watch a crappy romantic movie, eat some ice cream and have a deep talk." Rachel raised her eyebrows.

"And you wonder why people think you're gay?"

"I just thought it was something we should consider." He defended.

"Okay, you go take out the trash and I'll go change. We'll meet back in the living room of my apartment." They both went their separate ways. When Rachel exited her room about ten minutes later, Chandler was situated in front of the TV with a carton of ice cream in his hand. She sat down next to him, gratefully taking the spoon he handed her and digging into the carton. Rachel was about to ask what movie he had put in when he answered.

"When Harry Met Sally," He fast forwarded through the rest of the previews. They both quieted down as the movie started. They had made it through almost the whole movie when Chandler groaned loudly.

"Too much ice cream?" Rachel asked knowingly. He groaned again nodding his head. She stood up and grabbed their spoons and the empty ice cream tub as the movie played in the background.

"You know," he said turning around to face Rachel. "I always thought this was, like, the most romantic movie ever." She looked at him interested urging him to continue. "I mean, what's better than falling for your best friend, y'know?"

"It's not all that great." She leaned back against the counter. "If things work out then yeah, it is great but if not then everything gets all screwy." She said scrunching up her face. Chandler made a sympathetic face and hopped up on the counter.

"How are you doing this whole Ross and Emily thing?" She shrugged.

"I don't know. I'm over Ross but it's still hard to see him with someone else, especially while I'm miserable. I-I just wonder if maybe I made a mistake with Ross. Maybe that thing with Chloe wasn't a big deal." She sighed. "You're a guy, was I wrong?" He shook his head.

"No, Rach, you weren't wrong. Ross should've never done that," he added. He had never revealed his true feelings on the whole Ross and Rachel situation because he was supposed to be on Ross's side. But he just couldn't understand how Ross could do that, especially to Rachel.

"I guess, it's just, Ross was my first and my only serious relationship." She admitted and Chandler resisted a joke about how she almost married Barry, they were sharing their feelings and he wasn't about to mess everything up. "I know Ross and I weren't compatible, I mean all we ever did was fight. Ross was a 'doctor' and I was just a waitress."

"Except you weren't just a waitress, you started your whole life over. If you ask me, you were pretty damn brave." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and he instantly felt bad. "No, don't cry, that was supposed to be a good thing. It was a good thing!" He exclaimed pulling her into a hug. She nodded into his chest, blinking back the tears.

"I know, thank you Chandler. No one's ever said anything like that to me before." His eyes widened and he pulled back slightly.

"Ross never told you that?"

"No, Ross always made me feel," she paused not sure she wanted to admit what she truly felt. "Stupid." Chandler could see the hurt in Rachel's eyes and at that moment it literally took every ounce of self-restraint to not walk across the hall and physically beat Ross up.

"You're anything but stupid." She nodded.

"I know that now, I do. Enough about me, how are you doing?" She ran a comforting hand up and down his arm.

"I'll be okay, that Nick guy was nowhere near as cute as me." Chandler quipped and Rachel gave him a stern look. She didn't want him to deflect his real feelings with jokes, she hated when he did that. He tried again. "Kathy cheating on me just kind of reinforced a lot of my insecurities." He admitted honestly and Rachel moved her hand up to stroke his cheek lightly.

"Any woman would be lucky to have you. You're smart and sweet and sensitive and handsome." For the first time she noticed how blue his eyes were. She couldn't bring herself to look away from them and she wondered how she had not realized this earlier in the many years they had been friends. Chandler laughed nervously breaking the intense eye contact.

"Who would've thought that out of all of us you and I would be the ones talking about our feelings with each other." She nodded.

"It is a little strange, isn't it?"

"Not that it's a bad thing!" Chandler exclaimed suddenly. "I mean, I think it was a really good thing, you know?" He stuttered nervously. Rachel watched him an amused look on her face.

"Chandler?" She interrupted. "Relax." He took a deep breath and fell back against the counter. As Rachel started to clean up around the apartment slightly, Chandler thought over their conversation. He realized that she had helped him more in one night than Joey had in the last couple of months. To be fair to Joey, he had never had his heart broken before.

"Hey Rach?"

"Hm?" She looked up from the blanket she had been folding.

"I-uh, thank you." He smiled.

"Anytime sweetie, just remember I'm right here if you ever need me."

"Same here, Rach." He kissed her forehead lightly. She leaned into him and inhaled Chandler's scent. He smelled like cigarettes and laundry detergent and something else that she couldn't place but it was indescribably Chandler. God, he smelled good. He leaned back slightly and she looked up at him. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to kiss him but could she do that? Could she actually kiss Chandler? He was one of her closest friends, not to mention Ross's best friend. She ignored that thought as he leaned in closing the distance between them. Rachel could feel her heart pounding as his lips met hers. His hands moved to around her waist pulling her into him and her hands worked through his hair slowly. As the kiss got more heated they realized there was no turning back. Chandler pulled away looking down at her. "Your place or mine?" He asked jokingly and she rolled her eyes at him as they made their way back to her bedroom. He interrupted their kiss again and Rachel shot him a look. "Are we really going to do this?"

"Shut up," she said lovingly and he nodded.

"Yeah okay." He closed the bedroom door behind him as the two friends fell onto the bed, continuing what they had started in the kitchen.


	2. My Girlfriend

_Sorry this took so long, I got distracted by another story. Plus, I had to rewrite this chapter, like, five times and I'm still not entirely happy with it but it's good enough. Thank you to everyone who reviewed or read it or subscribed but especially thanks to those who reviewed. It means a lot. Uh, I think that's all I have to say. So, enjoy!_

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><p>Chandler woke up completely confused. Why wasn't he in his own bed? Better yet, why the hell was he in Joey's room? Then he noticed the sleeping body next to him and suddenly everything came rushing back. Rachel. He slept with Rachel last night. Oh, God. He slept with Rachel. Ross's ex-girlfriend Rachel. His friend Rachel. This was bad, so so so bad. He glanced down at Rachel and felt a small smile grace his lips. He knew they probably wouldn't be able to tell anyone about this, despite how much he would love to brag about it. But that was okay with him, he didn't mind it being his and Rachel's secret. He felt her start to stir next to him. "Morning," he smiled. She looked confused for a second before she adjusted to the situation. He felt panicked for a second, what if she didn't feel the same way as him? What if it was just a huge mistake to her? Suddenly all his insecurities and fears of rejection came rushing back at full speed. Rachel must have felt him tense because she gave him a reassuring smile.<p>

"Good morning," she mumbled snuggling deeper into his chest. He relaxed and let out the deep breath he had been holding in.

"So we should, uh, we should talk about last night?" He said but it came out more like a question.

"Yeah, we should. What time is it?" She asked sitting up and pulling away from him. They both shuddered at the cold air that hit them at the loss of contact. Chandler pouted at her as she got out of bed and she laughed. "We both have to go to work today, you know that."

"We could call in sick?" He suggested, even though they both knew that they couldn't stay in bed all day.

"Chandler," She said warningly. Once she walked within his reach, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back down on the bed with him. "You're not making this easy."

"Okay, okay," He conceded. "Then let's talk."

"What happened last night?" She questioned with a sigh leaning back into Chandler.

"Well," he started drawing slow imaginary circles up her arm. "I believe that we had sex, numerous times." He smirked and she smacked him lightly in the chest.

"What happens now?" He shrugged.

"What do you want to happen now?" She shrugged.

"I do know that we have to get ready for work though." She stood up and poked her head out of her bedroom door. "Okay the coast is clear. You can go." She smiled opening her bedroom door wider.

"Do I have to?" He whined. Rachel shot him a warning glance. "Alright I'll go but only if you promise to have lunch with me." She laughed.

"How is that different than any other day?" She asked raising an eyebrow. He didn't answer as he pulled on his shirt and walked toward Rachel. "What are you doing?" She watched him move across the room, directly to her.

"Somethin'." He smirked as he pulled her into a kiss that she had been completely caught off guard for. Just as soon as it started, it was over and Chandler was out the door sending Rachel a wink before entering his own apartment.

"Where were you last night?" Joey exclaimed worriedly as soon as Chandler walked in the door. He stopped wracking his brain for the right lie to make Joey believe him. Got it.

"I stayed at the girls' apartment last night. Rach and I fell asleep watching a movie." He mumbled glancing at the television. "Is that porn?" He looked between Joey eating his cereal at the foosball table and the TV.

"Yeah! Free born, baby!" Joey yelled excitedly. "I was just pressing buttons on the remote and then bam! Porn! But don't touch it, it could all just go away."

"I'll be right back." Chandler went into his room quickly throwing on work clothes and taking a seat in his recliner. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to go to work today."

"Hey guys," Rachel greeted entering the apartment. Chandler immediately looked up at the sound of her voice, smiling at her.

"Hey Rach," Joey turned around to face her. "Heard you spent the whole night with Chandler. That must've been fun." He said sarcastically.

"It was actually." She shared a secret smiled with Chandler and went back to making her breakfast. The moans coming from the TV caught her attention and she looked at it. Her jaw dropped. "Are you guys watching porn? At breakfast?"

"Free porn, baby!" Joey exclaimed again. They sat there for a few moments, all watching the TV.

"I cannot watch this while I eat." Rachel shook her head reaching for the remote.

"No, no, no, no!" The boys yelled. Chandler grabbed the controller and held it out of her reach.

"We don't know how the porn started and we can't turn it off. Plus," Joey whispered to Rachel. "This is the most action Chandler's going to see all month." Rachel's gaze slid over to Chandler, who had a wide smile on his face.

"You're right, Joe. I can't get a woman into bed no matter how hard I try." She shook her head walking back to the foosball table.

"Seriously, can't watch this while I eat." Chandler turned around, his eyes pleading her to stay.

"We'll mute it?" He suggested. She grumbled an agreement and sat back down at the makeshift dining room table. "Well children, I really should be getting to work." He stood up and threw his cereal bowl in the sink. "I'll see you at lunch." He whispered sending a shiver down her spine.

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><p>Chandler entered the crowded deli looking around for Rachel. He spotted her at their usual table, a salad placed in front of her. He stood in line and waited for his sandwich. He kept looking at her from across the room and all he could think was how much he wanted to kiss her. <em>Bad, <em>he thought, _that was dangerous territory. _He tried to tell himself it was just sexual tension, he had zero feelings for Rachel. That would be insane. He made his way across the dining room and sat down across from her. He could tell she was deep in thought by the way she jumped when he sat down. "Whoa, you okay?" He asked taking a sip of his water. She nodded.

"I was just thinking."

"About me?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows.

"No!" She denied as her cheeks turned bright red.

"I think I'm right." He smirked leaning back in his chair. "It's okay, most women can't resist the Chan Chan Man."

"You keep calling yourself that and it'll be a lot easier to resist you than you think." He put on a fake hurt look and she reached across the table patting his hand lightly. As she went to pull her hand away, he grabbed it and intertwined it with his. "Chandler," she said quietly, suddenly serious. He was dreading this part of lunch, the part where they actually had to talk.

"What are we doing here, Rach?" He asked rubbing slow circles on her hand with his thumb.

"I don't know." She said honestly looking up at him.

"What do you want this to be?"

"What do you want this to be?" She questioned raising an eyebrow.

"No, no, no," he shook his head. "I asked first." He smiled tapping her lightly on the nose. "You answer."

"This is crazy." She mumbled. "I can't be feeling anything for you. I mean, you're Chandler."

"Wow, thanks." He said sarcastically holding a hand to his heart.

"No, seriously. I am feeling something for you." She admitted looking at him, trying to decipher what he felt. At Rachel's word he felt instant relief come over him. She was feeling something for him. He looked into her dark, deep blue eyes and brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes.

"I'm feeling something for you too. A lot of something."

"So, what does that mean?"

"Well, generally when two people like each other…" He trailed off smirking and Rachel shook her head.

"You know, it's not that simple." He nodded. As their unspoken words ran through their minds. Ross. They would have to talk to him.

"But, you know he has Emily. He probably won't care that much." She mumbled something in agreement. "Maybe, we should wait a little bit to tell anyone. See exactly where this is going first?" He suggested and her face broke into a smile.

"Chandler Bing, I think you might be a genius." She said before digging into her salad. He watched her eat for awhile before she looked at him, the curiosity clear on her face. "Aren't you going to eat?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"I," he blushed slightly before continuing. "I was watching you eat. You're cute."

She laughed and flashed him one of her beautiful smiles. God, she was beautiful when she smiled. "You're cute too but I don't want to be the reason you're hungry for the rest of the day so please eat." She gestured to his sandwich before taking another bite of her salad. They finished their meals in silence and threw away their trash.

"I'll walk you back?" He suggested opening the door for her. She nodded and grabbed for his hand. "So, I was thinking. Maybe, we can sneak away from everyone else tonight and go to dinner."

"Are you asking me out on a date?" She asked trying to wipe the huge grin off her face.

"Yeah, so what do you say?" He could feel the butterflies in his stomach. He didn't know why he was so nervous. He had known Rachel since he was in college, almost ten years. She had just admitted she liked him. So, why the hell was he so nervous to ask her out on a date?

"I would love to go on a date with you. I'll meet you outside the coffee house at six?"

"Sounds good." He agreed taking a deep breath.

"Chandler," she said suddenly stopping both of them right outside her office building. "Don't be so nervous, okay? I really do like you." She reached up wrapping her hands around the back of his neck and pulling him down. It was completely different than their previous kisses, this one was slow and soft. He pulled her to him, memorizing the way she felt in his arms.

"You know," he commented pulling away from her. "I don't have to go back to work."

"Well, I think it's my first duty as your girlfriend to make sure that you don't lose your job." He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, so you're my girlfriend?"

"What were you going to call it?" He shrugged.

"I dunno, but girlfriend sounds so official." Rachel put a hand to her forehead and groaned.

"Oh God, we've been in a relationship for 45 minutes and I've already scared you. Oh God," she murmured again and Chandler laughed putting his hands on her hips to stop her pacing.

"Rach, it's okay. I'm not freaked out. I promise. I just like that I can call you my girlfriend." He smiled and then started imitating a conversation with another person. "'Hey Chandler, who's this?' 'Oh, you haven't met my girlfriend yet? This is Rachel Green, my girlfriend.'" She laughed and shook her head at him.

"Sweetie, if I'm going to continue being your girlfriend then you have to stop having conversations with yourself." He sighed and nodded sadly.

"I'll try."

"Okay, have a good afternoon." She said kissing him softly on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah, I'll see ya." He said under his breath watching her walk away and then he smiled widely. He was dating Rachel Green.

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><p><em>What'd you think?<em>


	3. Full of Surprises

_So, first off I wanted to thank you guys for the reviews. They really give me inspiration to update faster. Uh, I just kind of made up a restaurant name. I'm sure I could've researched and found a real restaurant but I didn't feel like it. I'm not all that happy with this chapter, but if I didn't post it now it would probably never get up. So, hopefully it's not too bad. I'll try to update again in the next week but I can't promise anything. I'm going on vacation this weekend/next week, if you want to consider college visits vacation…which I don't. But anyways, I know this chapter isn't all that exciting. I apologize; the next chapter will be more exciting. I promise. Anyways, let me know what you thought; good or bad? Thanks in advance and happy reading!_

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><p>"Wow," Chandler said letting out a low whistle as Rachel approached him. She was wearing a deep blue dress, that was just the right shade to bring out her eyes and there was a slit up the side to show enough but not too much. "You look-" He broke off suddenly nervous. "I mean, it's a good thing I changed because I almost wore that." She laughed shaking her head. "You look beautiful." He said softly after a moment.<p>

"Thank you. You clean up pretty well yourself there." She smiled and linked her arm through his. "Where are we going?"

"Well, I heard you like this little place called Melt…" He trailed off smiling. Rachel's eyes widened in surprise as he quickly hailed a cab ushering her in. Chandler was acting so smooth. Those were two words she never thought would be in the same sentence; Chandler and smooth. Whenever he hung out around them he was always so dorky and goofy and from what she had heard, he wasn't much different on dates. But the way he hailed the cab and he was taking her to her favorite restaurant. How'd he even know what her favorite restaurant was? She was having a hard time believing that Chandler was actually as bad at this dating thing as he claimed. When they reached their table he pulled her chair for her before taking his own seat. She stared at him from across the table, still surprised about this completely new side of Chandler that she was seeing. He raised an eyebrow up in question after she watched him a few more seconds.

"You're full of surprises." He laughed shaking his head.

"I'm not normally like this on first dates. It's usually a lot more awkward and probably a lot of un-funny jokes on my end."

"I know this doesn't really feel like a first date." She agreed slipping her hand through his across the table. "So, tell me about yourself." She smirked and he raised his eyebrows.

"Now this is the part of the date where I'd make some joke about my father being a cross dresser or my mother writing porn for a living, except neither of them would be jokes."

"Y'know, you're a lot less screwed up then you probably should be."

"My therapist would disagree," he joked glancing over the menu. They soon placed their orders and were left to their own conversation once again. "Where are you tonight?"

"Some work thing, what about you?"

"I have a date." He shrugged and she gave him a dirty look.

"That's not fair! You're not allowed to tell the truth."

"I'm a terrible liar though," he said pouting.

"Really?" She asked raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow. He nodded. "As bad as Joey?"

"Not quite that bad," Chandler admitted giving in a little. "Do I get to learn all your deepest darkest secrets now that I'm dating you?"

Rachel laughed loudly. "I don't tell anything to the guys I date."

"Then as your friend do I get to know your secrets?" She smirked, not answering, as she took a bite of her food. "You can't keep secrets from me!"

"You've never kept secrets from any of your girlfriends?"

"No," he mumbled, not entirely convincingly.

"Does Janice still think you're in Yemen?" He was silent for a moment trying to find the right way to answer her question.

"No, no, no. That's not fair. Janice and I were not a real relationship. Plus!" He exclaimed suddenly thinking up a second defense. "The entire thing with Janice was your fault."

"What? How was that my fault?"

"You made me go to the nail salon where we ran into her. All. Your. Fault."

"You asked her out again. And you're the one who can never seem to break up with her. Why is that, by the way?" She asked genuinely curious as she took a sip of her wine.

"I never had a problem breaking up with Janice." He defended and Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Okay, fine. I'm just not very used to having to break up with people. I normally stay in a relationship until they break up with me but Janice was so…so damn annoying. Especially the last time." Rachel laughed and he smiled widely. He loved her laugh, it was so contagious. It occurred to him several times over the last couple days that he had always been trying to get the wrong girl. Chandler had always been trying to make Monica laugh or get approval from Monica. He knew there had been reasons he hadn't go after Rachel, Ross being the number one, but he always thought she was unattainable. But here he was on a date, with Rachel. "So, Rachel Karen Green," he smiled running his finger slowly up and down her arm.

"So, Chandler," she paused trying to think of Chandler's middle name. "Bing. Why don't I know your middle name?"

"No one knows my middle name." He explained.

"Well, what is it?"

He shook his head. "No, no. Maybe once we're married I'll tell you, but probably not." He joked and then paused realizing what he said. His eyes widened as he went into panic mode. "I didn-I didn't mean that we, uh, we. I-uh I," he stuttered and Rachel placed a hand on his arm.

"Relax, I know it was a joke. We're only on our first date, no marriage talk until at least the third date." Chandler smiled and visibly relaxed. "While we're kind of on the subject, when do you want to tell everyone about us?"

"I was thinking, you know, maybe once Ross dies or we could move to Canada and just leave a note behind?" He suggested with a nervous laughter.

"Maybe he won't react as bad as you think."

"Rach, you were all he talked about for the four years we were roommates in college. And if that's not bad enough, you guys dated for a year. Dating you is basically breaking all the rules." He shrugged and smiled sheepishly. Rachel suddenly pulled her hands away from his.

"If you," she paused. "If you don't want to do this, then you need to tell me now before I get in too deep." Chandler quickly shook his head.

"I think I'm already in too deep." He admitted quietly.

"Me too," she agreed leaning back in her chair.

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><p>"I had a really great time tonight." Rachel said as they stood in the hallway between their two apartments.<p>

"Best first date ever. Plus, you're hot." She laughed and leaned in giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "I'm going to go change and then, I'm coming over to watch cartoons."

"Why don't you turn the porn off?"

"Oh no no no no no, I am not going to be the guy who turns off free porn. And Joey would probably kill me. See you in five," he kissed the top of her forehead and then turned around heading back into his own apartment and she went into hers, trying to wipe the giant smile off her face.

"How was the work party?" Monica asked.

"It was good." Rachel allowed a small smile to grace her lips.

"Oooh, who'd ya meet?" Phoebe questioned from her seat on the couch.

"No one."

"Uh huh, you can't stop smiling. Who is he?"

"Just some guy." Rachel shrugged.

"Some guy, my ass." Phoebe rolled her eyes settling back down on the couch as Chandler came through the door.

"What's going on?"

"Oh, Rachel met some guy." Monica explained and Chandler smirked.

"Oh really?" He laughed sitting down next to Phoebe.

"Yup and she's smitten." Chandler's smirk widened and Rachel shook her head.

"I did not meet anyone!" She denied.

"Okay, then wipe that smile off your face." She rolled her eyes and headed towards her bedroom, completely ignoring the wide smile on Chandler's face and trying to wipe the smile off hers.

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><p>Chandler heard his bedroom door open later that night and didn't even look up, knowing exactly who it was. "Hey you," Rachel said crawling into bed next to him.<p>

"Hi." He smiled greeting her with a kiss. "Joey's not here."

"Well, I don't normally sleep with guys on the first date." She smirked and Chandler laughed.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, but I think I might be able to make an exception."

"I like the sound of that." He leaned pressing his lips against hers.

"I just wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea…"

"Don't worry about it." He smiled kissing her again softly as his hand slowly slid up her shirt leaving a trail of goose bumps behind.

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><p>"Well, somebody's awfully smiley this morning." Phoebe commented glancing at Chandler.<p>

"You hooked up!" Joey said excitedly. "Who was she?"

"I did not hook up." He denied as his gaze slipped to Rachel.

"You totally did! Who was it?" He looked at Rachel again his eyes pleading with her to distract Joey but she just smirked shaking her head slightly.

"It was nobody." Chandler said hoping Joey would drop the subject.

"Dammit! What is with all this secrecy?" Joey whined. "First, Rachel won't tell us about the guy she met at the party and now you won't tell us about the girl you hooked up with. C'mon guys, you're killing me!"

"Yeah, that's interesting…" Phoebe mumbled, her eyes flickering between Rachel and Chandler suspiciously.

"Fine! I slept with Janice, okay?" Joey let out a small cry and Rachel laughed. Chandler glared at Rachel before turning to Joey. "I swear it was just a one-time thing, man. It won't happen again."

"It's never just a one-time thing with Janice. Next thing you know, she'll be sitting next to you at the breakfast table ruining the best part of my day!"

"The best part of your day?"

"Yeah! Food!" He said holding up his bagel. "Break up with her."

"I don't have to, because we're not in a relationship. It won't happen again."

"Promise me, that I will not see Janice again."

"I promise that you will never see Janice again." Chandler promised rather reluctantly, he really hated lying to Joey.

"Okay, I have an audition so I have to get going. You better not be seeing Janice today." He said sending Chandler a hard glare before walking out the door.

"And on that note, I have to get to work. See you later, ladies." His gaze lingered on Rachel for a moment before walking out the door.

"Hmm," Phoebe said quietly as soon as Chandler was out the door.

"What?" Rachel asked nervously, worried that Phoebe was onto her.

"Nothing, it's just that Chandler is in way too good of a mood. There's no way he slept with Janice. Normally that means he's a desperate. He's never that happy after hooking up with Janice." She said her eyes looking at Rachel suspiciously.

"Maybe, he's got real feelings for her again?" Phoebe shook her head.

"No way, he went to Yemen to get rid of her less than a month ago. He didn't sleep with Janice." She said with certainty.

"Then why would he say that?"

"I guess he doesn't want us to know who he's actually seeing, for some reason." Rachel shifted uncomfortably in her seat, taking a sip of coffee.

"It's getting really late, I've got to get to work. See you later, Pheebs." She said quickly all but rushing out the door. She knew Phoebe was suspicious, if any of her friends could figure out what was going on between her and Chandler, it would be Phoebe. She sighed as she closed the door behind her. They definitely had to be more careful, they couldn't risk anyone finding out. She didn't know how long this could be kept a secret. It was almost impossible to keep anything a secret in their group of friends. But Ross couldn't find out, not yet. Once things got more serious with Ross and Emily, they would tell him. Once they were sure he wouldn't freak out. But until that time came, they wouldn't tell anyone.


	4. Through the Tunnel

_Sooo, fourth chapter is done. I'm sorry this took so long but I rewrote this so many times. I'm still not completely happy with it but it's good enough. Plus, I didn't think I'd ever be completely happy with it so I figured I'd just post it. Anyways, if you're keeping with the timeline of the show then you know what's about to happen. I'm so predictable haha. Okay, let me know what you thought of the chapter and what you think/what you want to happen next. _

_And thank you to all the reviews I got last chapter. You guys make me smile. Enough rambling, on with the story…_

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><p>"Hey," Rachel chorused entering her apartment. She wasn't sure who was there but she knew someone was bound to be, Monica was always the host. Even when she wasn't home. Even when they were stuck with the small apartment. Chandler, who was sitting on the couch, turned to face her.<p>

"Hi," he smiled standing up.

"Anyone else here?" She questioned quickly taking a step towards him.

"Nope." He met her halfway, taking one large step and wrapping an arm around her waist. "Monica should be home soon though." He added quickly pulling her into a kiss.

"Mmm, so how was your day?"

"Oh the usual, y'know, I'm changing my name and on a side note, Ross's new girlfriend is a lesbian." Rachel furrowed her brow.

"You're changing your name?" She asked first, figuring she'd deal with the Emily being a lesbian thing later.

"Chandler Bing, seriously Rach, my parents hated me. I have a terrible first and last name!" He exclaimed angrily running a hand through his hair.

"What about middle name?" She smirked hoping she could get it out of him if she caught him off guard.

"Oh no no no no, my middle name is even worse than my first and last name combined. God, my parents hated me." He repeated collapsing on the couch. Rachel followed him and placed a comforting arm around his shoulders. "So, am I a Mark or a John?" He said suddenly breaking the comfortable silence.

"What?"

"Should I be a Mark Johnson or John Markson?"

"What about a Chandler Bing?" He shook his head quickly turning to face her.

"No, I am sick of being held back by name! All my life I have been plagued by my name and I'm sick of it! Sick of it!"

"Chandler, sweetie, I think it's too late to change your name. Besides, Chandler is a great name okay?"

"Yeah," he mumbled unconvincingly.

"So, anyways, what's this about Emily being a lesbian?"

"Oh yeah, who cares about Chandler's problems when there's lesbians involved?" He muttered glaring at the floor.

"Honey, I don't think you have a problem that's actually solvable."

"Is solvable a word?" He questioned absentmindedly playing with Rachel's fingers.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Eventually, but I could use some help to make me feel better…" He smiled and leaned closer to her.

"Didn't you say Monica was going to be home soon?"

"My apartment's empty, Joey's out for the night."

"Mmm let's go," she mumbled against his lips getting up from the couch.

* * *

><p>"I have to leave." Rachel grumbled into Chandler's pillow.<p>

"No, you don't. Just stay here."

"It's 11 o'clock and I haven't been home yet. And no one's seen you yet. Don't you think that's suspicious?"

"I don't care." He mumbled childishly.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "I'm borrowing your shirt by the way." She said over her shoulder as she slipped on Chandler's shirt over her jeans. "Monica's going to be in her room but if she doesn't hear me come home soon, she's going to get worried. Bye," she said sending him one last smile before crossing the apartment and going back into her own.

"Hah!" Phoebe yelled jumping up from her spot on the couch.

"Ohmigod! Pheebs! What the hell are you doing?" Rachel asked gripping the handle of the door tightly.

"I knew it! You're dating Chandler!" Rachel's heart started racing. How the hell did she know that?

"N-n-no, no I'm not." She stuttered avoiding looking at Phoebe.

"Yea-huh, you're wearing his shirt. Plus you guys were all making lovey eyes at each other over breakfast this morning. You're totally doing it." Rachel shook her head again walking toward her bedroom. "So, is he good?" She suppressed a smile and turned to face Phoebe.

"Night Pheebs."

"No, come on Rachel! I am pregnant with triplets for my brother. I'm doing a wonderful selfless thing so, you should do a wonderful selfless thing and tell me what's going on with you and Chandler."

"You are _so _not allowed to use that." Rachel accused pointing a finger at Phoebe.

"You're even talking like him now!"

"I am not dating Chandler."

"Except you are," Phoebe smiled leaning back into the couch. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." Rachel turned around in the doorway to face Phoebe and gave her a thankful smile.

"We'll tell everyone soon." Phoebe raised an eyebrow and Rachel paused before answering. "We'll tell everyone eventually."

"What are you guys worried about?" Rachel gave Phoebe a look that said she should know exactly what they were worried about. "Oh right, Ross. Well, he has a girlfriend."

"Yeah but we didn't break up that long ago and Chandler is his best friend. I mean, if Ross started dating you, I think I'd care." She shrugged taking a seat next to Phoebe on the couch.

"Okay no," she shook her head. "I don't think Ross would care, he and Emily are pretty serious."

"Pheebs, it's Ross. The rules always matter to him. All he's going to say is that it's breaking guy code. He's incapable of seeing someone else's side of the situation."

"Oh, kinda like the whole 'we were on a break' thing?" Rachel rolled her eyes and then nodded.

"Anyways, I'm tired." She said getting up.

"From all the sex with Chandler?"

"Goodnight," she closed her door and fell onto her bed with a sigh. She hated keeping this secret, especially from Monica and Phoebe. Although it wasn't technically a secret from Phoebe anymore, she still didn't like not telling Monica. Monica was her best friend, she went to Monica when she needed guy advice. What was she going to do when Chandler freaked out about something? It would inevitably happen. After all, it was Chandler. Not that she didn't trust him or she didn't think it was going to work out, because she did. It was just that she couldn't go to Monica if things did go wrong, which she wasn't used to. As she finally drifted off to sleep all she could think of was Chandler. And that scared her, because that meant she was getting attached. She couldn't actually form the thought of 'falling in love' in her mind. But she did know that the last guy she had felt like this about was Ross. And she didn't think she even felt that much for Ross, at least not so fast. That thought scared her even more because she never wanted to be hurt like that again.

* * *

><p>"I have something that's gonna make you happy." Rachel sang entering the guys' (formerly her) apartment, with Monica following closely behind her.<p>

"Oh really?" Chandler asked suggestively, a smirk playing across his features, which quickly dropped when he noticed Monica. "What is it?"

"Where's Joey?" Monica asked looking around the apartment.

"Still sleeping."

"It's one o'clock?" Rachel glanced at the clock behind Chandler's head as Monica walked toward Joey's door.

"Joey, wake up!" She yelled banging on the door several times. Joey came out several minutes later, rubbing the last remnants of sleep out his eyes.

"Jeeze Monica, what's your problem?"

"Rachel has something that's gonna make us happy." Chandler explained and glanced at Rachel a small smile still on his face.

"Yeah baby!" Joey yelled fist pumping the air. Rachel grimaced and shook her head.

"No, Joey, no. My mom got my dad's Knicks season tickets in the divorce. I thought maybe you guys would want them…" Rachel suggested handing them to the guys.

"Dude! These are practically courtside!" Chandler exclaimed.

"But…" Monica trailed off interrupting the celebration and urging Rachel to continue.

"You can only have them if you give us our apartment back." The boys stopped jumping up and down and turned toward Rachel.

"That is evil." Chandler said pointing a finger at Rachel accusingly.

"Yes yes yes!" Joey yelled, just wanting the Knicks tickets.

"No!"

"Chandler, I have three words for you: courtside Knicks tickets." Joey explained holding a finger up at each word.

"And I have one word for you; no! We can't go back to the small apartment after living here. Haven't you ever read Flowers for Algernon?"

"Well yeah, but this is the Knicks!"

"Screw the Knicks!" Chandler yelled and Joey gasped.

"Whoa whoa whoa!"

"I didn't mean that!" He said holding his hands up defensively. "I just meant the apartment is worth so much more."

"Last chance, boys, or me and Monica are going to go to the game tonight." Rachel smiled flashing the tickets.

"C'mon Chandler, please." Joey begged.

"No!" Chandler said putting his foot down. "This is so not an even trade."

"Alright, alright, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets?" Rachel suggested.

"You mean, like a bet?" Chandler asked intrigued.

"Yeah, we'll both pick a card. High card gets all." Chandler looked at Joey who nodded and they agreed.

"Okay, we'll do it." They both picked a card, the guys ending up with the high card. Monica stormed out of the apartment angrily with Phoebe following closely behind.

"We won! We won! We won!" Chandler and Joey yelled doing their victory dances.

"This is not over." Rachel glared.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get ready for the Knicks game tonight." Joey smiled heading toward the shower.

"No sex for you tonight." Rachel said once Joey was safely in the shower.

"What? Why?"

"You took my Knicks tickets and my apartment." She pouted and Chandler walked over to her.

"I'm sorry, I'll take you to a game if you want."

"No! I want my apartment back. Your apartment sucks."

"Well, I do have your old room. You can stay there if you want." He smiled. "I'll even give you drawer space." She laughed and shook her head.

"Wow, you know if this whole relationship wasn't a secret I might take you up on that. I believe you just went through the tunnel, Chandler."

"I did, didn't I? And I didn't freak out. I went through the tunnel and I didn't freak out." He smiled widely. "I didn't freak out!" He said again this time louder and with his signature 'Chandler dance' to go with it.

"No, but now you're kind of freaking me out…"

"Sorry," he flashed her a smile. "So, are you going to come over after the game?"

"I already told you, no sex. You took my apartment." She said poking him in the chest.

"Actually, you lost your apartment…" He trailed off with a smirk. "But come on, Rach! I just went through the tunnel, we have to celebrate!"

"When your room, becomes my room again then we can celebrate."

"We can't have sex until I give you your apartment?" Rachel nodded and crossed her arms. "Okay, if I did give you your apartment how would you tell Monica you got it back? By withholding sex?"

"I don't know. I'll figure it out. Please," she pouted looking up at him with the puppy dog face.

"No no no, that face won't work on me. Sorry. Joey and I have to leave in, like, twenty minutes. But I don't want to leave with you mad at me."

"So, you're giving us the apartment back?" She asked hopefully but Chandler shook his head.

"Nope, I'm just going to have to deal with you being mad. See you later, Rach." He kissed her quickly on the cheek.

"You suck," she mumbled turning toward the door.

"You love me." He joked.

"Maybe," she shrugged smiling slightly thinking over what Chandler just said. Did she love him? She knew that he meant love in a friendly way, but she was starting to think maybe she loved him in the real way. The 'in love' kind of way. She shook her head and walked out the door. She wasn't falling in love with Chandler, better yet she didn't want to let herself fall in love with Chandler. She sighed and went back to her apartment. She was not falling in love with Chandler. There was no way. She ignored the thought and walked into her apartment sitting down next to Phoebe who was still trying to calm down Monica after losing the apartment a second time.


	5. Come Back to Bed

_Hello everyone! Thanks for all your amazing reviews, they make me smile. I've updated twice in, like, a week. I'm so proud of myself. I had to get through a little bit of writers' block in this chapter, but I think it turned out okay? I dunno, let me know what you think. I'm so excited because we're about to get to the drama, woohoo! Alright, I apologize for the rambling but I'm in a really good mood. I'm going to apologize for the lack of updates that will come once I start school next week. Senior year of high school, I'm so excited! Okay, I'm done talking now. Just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews and the reads and the favorites and the alerts, y'know, and to encourage everyone to continue with all that stuff. Hope you enjoy the story!_

_Oh and I haven't done a disclaimer in awhile so I don't own Friends or the actors or anything related to Friends, blah blah blah. I also don't own the song Time-bomb by All Time Low, which is where the title of the story came from. Nor, do I own the John Mayer song where the chapter of this title came from. I am on a bit of a John Mayer kick, by the way, not really sure what that's about. So the next couple chapters will probably all have John Mayer song titles, just go with it. Okay, seriously done now. _

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><p><em>You can be mad in the morning.<br>I'll take back what I said.  
>Just don't leave me alone here.<br>It's cold, baby.  
>Come back to bed. <em>

* * *

><p>"What you did was completely evil." Rachel shrugged and feigned innocence.<p>

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You switched our apartments! This is supposed to be my room! My room! You stole our apartment. That's illegal." He exclaimed stepping into Rachel's bedroom. "And I know it was all your idea."

"Actually, it was Phoebe's idea…" She trailed off and turned to face him. "Did you come over here to yell at me?"

"No, me and Joey were going to give you t-shirts from the game but then you evil women switched our apartments back and we decided maybe you didn't deserve them." She stuck her tongue out at him before collapsing onto the bed. "And I can see that you're being very mature about this whole thing. We are switching back, by the way. " Chandler commented sitting down next to her and she glared at him. "Come on, there has to be something good about your apartment."

Rachel was silent for a moment as she sat up. "No, no, you're right." She conceded and he smiled proudly, he was never right. "I'm not sure which is the best part though. I mean, there's the man who sings every morning and wakes me up. The fact that the apartment still smells like bird. Or, ooh, maybe it's how disgusting the bathroom is." She said sarcastically clapping her hands.

"Okay," he nodded not quite sure how to approach her and if she would bite his head off again. "I'll buy you ear plugs and air freshener to fix the first two and you can shower and go to the bathroom here?" Chandler suggested slowly. Rachel shrugged and then smiled.

"It doesn't matter anyway, because we took our apartment back."

"You'll have to leave eventually and when you do we'll switch them again."

"No, you won't." She said confidently.

"How do you know?"

"Because you guys are too lazy, there's no way that you and Joey care enough about this apartment to move again."

"This is my bachelor pad!" He said defensively trying to prove he loved the apartment just as much.

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow. "So, you've had a lot of girls up here?" He sighed there was no good way to answer that question.

"Well no, only you and that one time Kathy was here when we were still dating. So, I've had two girls here! And if I wouldn't have started dating you, I would've had a lot more girls here." He defended.

"Oh, I'm sorry I ruined your bachelor pad experience. Y'know if you didn't want this, you could've just said so."

"Well," he started. "I did want the bachelor experience, but I think I wanted you more. Plus, you're, like, ten times hotter than any girl I could bring home." He flashed her a wide smile and leaned back against the pillows.

"I think that may be the sweetest thing a guy has ever said to me." She said sarcastically leaning into Chandler, her head resting on his chest. "I could stay like this forever," she mumbled into his chest and his arms tightened around her. "I've been, uh, I've been really happy lately." Rachel admitted quietly after a few moments of silence.

"Me too," he agreed gently running a hand through her hair. It had occurred to Chandler more than once in the last couple of weeks that what he felt for Rachel was strong. He knew it was different than the feelings he had for Kathy and even Janice at one point. It scared him to no end. Normally, he screwed things up before he got in too deep. Sure, he would be depressed and it hurt but he could get over it in a week or two. With Rachel, he just knew that it would take him more than a week to get over her. He was without a doubt falling in love with her, he could admit that much. He hadn't completely fallen yet, not 100% anyway. He almost wanted things to end before he fell. He figured it had to end sometime and he would rather have it end before he was completely in love with her. But he couldn't because the majority of him wanted to see where things went with Rachel, no matter how they ended. He could feel Rachel breathing steadily and knew she had fallen asleep. As he sat there with her in his arms, he knew that he really could stay like that forever and he would be completely okay with it.

* * *

><p>Married. Ross was getting married. Rachel couldn't believe it. He barely even knew Emily and they were engaged. She didn't know why she felt like she had been punched in the gut. She shouldn't care if Ross got married, after all she was with Chandler and she was over Ross, right? Right. Although, the knot in the pit of her stomach kind of told her otherwise. But it could just be her gut reaction. Of course, she wasn't okay with Ross getting married. He was the first man she really loved, she would probably never be completely okay with him getting married to anyone. Plus, they had only known each other for a couple of months. It was crazy.<p>

She could feel Chandler's eyes on her, which was just putting her more on edge. She knew that as soon everyone else left the room Chandler would accuse her of not being okay with Ross getting married. She wasn't sure how she would respond to that because she wasn't okay with it. But Chandler would think that meant she was still in love with Ross, which she wasn't. She sighed and smiled slightly at Monica, who was watching her intently. "You okay, Rach?" Monica asked concern lacing her voice.

"Yeah, I mean no, but yeah." Rachel said and Monica nodded understandingly, even though Rachel was pretty sure that she was making no sense. She glanced over at Chandler who was staring at the floor, his fingers laced together.

"Well, I have to get going guys." He said suddenly standing up.

"Where are you going?" Monica's eyebrows creased in confusion.

"I gotta go to work."

"But it's Saturday," Phoebe reminded him looking between Chandler and Rachel.

"It's always important to input those numbers though. Okay, bye." He said quickly exiting the room. Rachel stood up and followed him out.

"I'm gonna go take a walk, y'know, clear my head." Phoebe gave her a knowing look and Monica and Joey nodded sadly. "Chandler!" Rachel yelled as soon as the door was closed.

"Oh he-hey Rachel," he mumbled awkwardly rocking back and forth on his feet.

"What's wrong?" She asked, although she already knew the answer.

"My girlfriend is still in love with her ex but other than that, I'm great."

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, I think your reaction to his engagement answers my question." He said sarcastically and walked into his apartment, not wanting to argue in the hallway. Rachel shook her head, already denying what he said. "So, you don't care that Ross is getting married?"

"Of course, I care!" She defended and Chandler glared at the floor. "But it's not because I'm still in love with him, alright?" He looked up at this and took a step closer. "Okay, yo-you have to understand that Ross is the first man that I ever loved and no, I don't really want to see him marry anyone else but I don't want to be with him, Chandler." She said softly.

"Are you sure? Because we can end this now," he said putting up his defenses.

"You want to end this?"

"I don't know," he admitted finally. Chandler was sure that Rachel was still in love with Ross and he didn't understand why she wouldn't just admit it.

"Fine, when you figure all this out I'll be across the hall." She said angrily slamming the door on the way out.

"Wow, that was a fast walk." Monica commented as Rachel came back through the door.

"Yeah, well, I realized maybe time alone wasn't what I needed." Rachel all but spat out, still angry at Chandler. She ignored the others in the room and walked into her bedroom closing the door behind her.

"Didn't she just say she didn't want to be alone?" Monica asked confused. Phoebe sat there quietly putting the pieces together.

"I'll go talk to her." Phoebe said standing up and knocking on Rachel's door softly. "Rach," she said as a warning that she was coming in. She took in Rachel's appearance, her eyes and nose were red and her hands were clasped tightly together. "Ross or Chandler?"

"What?" She asked confused looking up at Phoebe.

"Are you upset about Ross or Chandler? I'm going to guess Chandler because you're way more upset right now than when you left."

"I think we broke up." She said quietly holding her head into her hands. Phoebe didn't say anything and waited for Rachel to finish the story. "He-he's worried that I'm still in love with Ross an-and I told him that I didn't want to be with Ross. But then he said he wasn't sure whether he wanted to end us so, I left."

"He'll come around." Phoebe said convincingly. Rachel mumbled something unintelligibly and Phoebe decided not to push her on it. "Look Rach, you know how insecure Chandler is. It'd be weird if he hadn't freaked out by now, okay? Now let's go back out there before Joey and Monica start to worry." As Rachel and Phoebe walked back into the living room, she immediately noticed that Chandler was now in the room.

"H-he-hey Rach," he said hesitantly. He immediately felt like an asshole when he noticed her red-rimmed eyes, she had been crying. "Do you want to get some coffee?" He asked looking directly at Rachel. She bit her lip but nodded finally. They both looked around realizing they should probably extend the invitation to everyone else.

"I have an audition." Joey explained. "That I'm already late for." He got up and quickly ran out the door.

"And me and Monica were going to watch a movie."

"We were?" Monica asked confused looking at Phoebe.

"Uh-huh, remember?"

"Uh no…"

"Oh, well, we were! Now come on, don't keep the pregnant lady waiting." Phoebe pulled on her coat and grabbed Monica's arm pulling her out the door too. "Bye guys!" She called shutting the door behind them.

"So…" Chandler trailed off awkwardly once they were alone. "I'm sorry." He said and Rachel still didn't respond. "I was an asshole." She smiled a little at that comment and nodded.

"You were."

"I know I said that I didn't know if I wanted this to end but I know that I don't want it to end. I was such an idiot but it's just what I do. I'm insecure and that's how I normally ruin my relationships. But I don't want to mess this up with you."

"I don't want to mess this up either."

"Are we, uh, are we gonna be okay?" She nodded and walked over to him.

"We're gonna be okay." She assured Chandler and he let out an audible sigh of relief.

"Can we never fight again?" She laughed and he pulled her closer to him. "That was the worst half hour of my life." He mumbled into her hair pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"You're so overdramatic," she teased breathing in his scent.

"But you like me anyway," he teased back. "Wow, we survived a fight." Rachel's eyebrows creased and she looked at him confused.

"Do you not normally survive fights…?"

"Normally my fights end in break-ups." He explained quickly, his cheeks reddening.

"Oh, so that explains," Rachel started.

"My incredibly short relationships, yeah." He mumbled, still blushing.

"It's okay, I'm not very good at the whole relationship thing either." She admitted and he relaxed slightly. "We can help each other out."

"That makes me feel better, now I know I'm new to the whole surviving a fight. But…" He trailed off with a smirk.

"But?" She prompted raising an eyebrow.

"Don't fights normally call for make-up sex?" She just laughed not answering him. "C'mon, Phoebe and Monica went to the movies and Joey's on an audition. We have two empty apartments and were all alone." He said suggestively.

"Okay, you lock the front door and I'll meet you in there." She gestured to the bedroom placing a quick kiss to his lips.

"Don't have to tell me twice," he mumbled under his breath smiling to himself.


	6. Falling For You

_So, I know this took forever. I am so sorry! I feel awful and this isn't even a long chapter, I'm not even very happy with this chapter. But I figured something's better than nothing, right? I tried to get this done sooner but between school and college applications I've had zero free time. It sucks. But hopefully I'll be able to write a little more now that I'm getting used to school and everything again. Anyways, review good or bad and let me know what you thought! Oh and yes, I changed my pen name I hope that doesn't confuse anyone. _

Chandler sat in Monica's armchair glancing at the invitation for Ross and Emily's wedding. He knew that at any minute Rachel would walk through the doors and find her own invitation sitting on the kitchen table and her face would fall. He had been steeling himself for that moment all day, he knew it was coming. He wanted to say he didn't care or that it didn't phase him, but he did care. He didn't want to see Rachel upset over her ex-boyfriend. Well, he didn't want to see her upset period, but especially not over Ross. He sighed loudly and leaned his head back. Monica glanced over at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he mumbled quietly and Phoebe shot him a sympathetic look, as if she could read his mind. Rachel walked in the front door and everyone's eyes flew to her, except Chandler who kept his eyes trained to the ground. Rachel squinted in Chandler's direction and then shook her head, focusing on everyone else in the room.

"What?" She asked confused looking between Monica, Phoebe, and Joey. "Ross's wedding invitation?" She questioned picking up the envelope addressed to her. Monica nodded sadly and moved over to make room for Rachel on the couch. "I'm fine," Rachel insisted looking over the invitation.

"Are you going to go to the wedding?"

"I dunno," she shrugged setting the invitation down and Chandler's head shot up. She wasn't going to go? But she was going to try and tell him she wasn't still in love with Ross? He didn't believe it.

"You have to go, Rach. We can't go without you." Joey whined from the corner.

"Joey's right," Monica said. "London won't be the same without you."

"Uh, hello? Pregnant lady who's not going, right here." Phoebe complained.

"We'll miss you too, Pheebs." Joey encouraged and then looked back to Rachel.

"I just don't know if I can sit through that." She mumbled and then looked at Monica. "Would you want to go to Richard's wedding?" Monica shook her head.

"I know it's hard but at least think about it?" Monica suggested. "Anyways, I have to get to work."

"And I have something fun to do!" Phoebe said excitedly.

"Oooh, what?" Joey asked.

"More maternity clothes shopping, wanna come?"

"Of course! You know how much I like to try on those clothes." Joey said getting up and following her out.

"So, you're not going to go to the wedding? Clearly, you're over Ross." He scoffed sarcastically.

"Chandler, you have to understand where I'm coming from. I am over him! I'm happy for him." Chandler sent her a disbelieving look. "Alright, I want him to be happy but it's hard to see a person you used to love marry someone else, no matter what the circumstances. You can't honestly tell me you'd be okay with going to Kathy's wedding tomorrow?"

"Of course I would be."

"That's what you think, until it happens. I am over him though. I want to be with you." She defended.

"We've already had this conversation and clearly nothing has changed."

"Fine," Rachel sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Then I'll go, will that make you happy?"

"Not if you don't want to." Chandler sighed and shook her head. "I want you to be over Ross." He admitted quietly. Rachel felt her anger fade slightly as she moved closer to Chandler.

"I am over Ross." She said reaching out and stroking Chandler's cheek lightly. "I just can't watch him marry someone else."

"I don't understand that. I've never been in love like that." _Except now, _he thought bitterly. They sat in silence for a couple minutes before Rachel spoke.

"I'll think about going."

"That's not the point. I don't want you to think about whether you can make it through Ross's wedding. I want you to know that you're over him and that you'll be fine." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I can't keep having this argument with you when you clearly don't understand where I'm coming from."

"You know what? I'll talk to you later once you have time to cool off." Chandler mumbled standing up.

"When I cool off? You started this!" She said exasperated. Chandler shook his head again.

"I'll talk to you later, Rach." Rachel sighed collapsing back on the couch. She didn't know what to do. She was being honest when she told Chandler why she didn't want to go to the wedding. She wasn't still in love with Ross and she didn't still have feelings for Ross. She only had feelings for Chandler, that was it. Ross wasn't a factor in the equation, at all. She didn't know how to make Chandler see that though, other than going to the wedding. And that didn't even seem like it would work at this point. She didn't want to lose Chandler, she was really falling for him. That was what scared her the most, what she felt for him was intense, more intense than what she felt for Ross at first. She didn't know what to do.

Chandler threw another dart at the board and then groaned when he missed completely.

"Whoa, who's face are you picturing?" Joey asked walking into their apartment. Chandler mumbled something incoherently before falling back into his recliner. "What's up with you the past couple weeks? You've been so boring and un-funny. I don't like it."

"I have a hypothetical situation for you, Joe."

"What does hypothetical mean?" He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "It means it's not real. You just pretend it is."

"Like acting?" Joey asked confused and Chandler shrugged.

"Sure, I'm going to give you a situation and you tell me what you would do."

"Alright," Joey said taking a seat at the counter.

"Okay, so say you're going out with this girl. And you really like her but she's still best friends with her ex."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's best friends with her ex?" Chandler nodded. "Deal breaker."

"I didn't finish yet. Anyways, then said ex, decides to marry some girl after only dating her for a couple of months and the girl you're dating gets upset and refuses to go to the wedding. What do you do?"

"Who's Rachel dating?" Joey asked confused.

"What?"

"Well, you're talking about Ross and Rachel, right? And obviously you're not dating Rachel. So who's dating Rachel?"

"What? No one. No one's dating Rachel. I'm not dating Rachel." Chandler said quickly.

"Alright, dude." Joey said eyes getting wide. "Anyways, my advice to whoever this is; dump the girl. I mean, unless you're like completely in love with the girl. It's not worth it. Although, I've never dated a girl for more than a couple weeks." Joey laughed walking into his bedroom. Chandler stood up immediately. Maybe he should break up with Rachel. He didn't know if he could do that though. But he did know that he couldn't stay with her if he was worried that she was still in love with Ross. His insecurities didn't help at all in this situation. Maybe it would be good for them to just break up for a little while until this whole thing with Ross was over. Maybe that was the right thing to do. He made his way across the hall and entered the apartment without knocking.

"We need to talk." He said looking directly at Rachel. Her face paled but she nodded.

"You're right, we do." She paused and they looked at each other, a thousand words passing between them. "I don't think I can go to the wedding." Rachel said effectively ending their relationship. Chandler nodded, knowing that was coming.

"I don't think we can be together anymore." Rachel nodded, also figuring that would follow her statement.

"I'm going to miss you." She admitted quietly. Chandler took a step closer to her.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll still be here for you, as a friend." _As a friend. _Those words killed her, but she knew this was how it had to be. She took a step towards him. He finally pulled her into a hug. "You're going to be okay, Rach." He mumbled into her ear.

"So are you," She said wrapping her arms tightly around his torso. "We're going to be okay, right?"

"We have to be. I don't want to lose you." He admitted, realizing that this was probably the most he shared about his feelings throughout their short relationship. Rachel pulled away quickly wiping away the tears that were forming.

"For what it's worth, I was really falling for you." He nodded giving her one last quick hug and leaving. He closed the door and sagged against it.

"I was falling for you too." He admitted to no one in particular. He walked back into his apartment and sat back down in the Bark-o-lounger realizing how much had changed since he last sat in the chair 20 minutes ago. He had just ended the best relationship in a long time. Sure, he had feelings for Kathy but the relationship would've never worked out. He didn't trust her. He sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair. He was going to miss her, in the relationship sense. In the girlfriend sense. That's the way he wanted her. He shook his head, clearing it of thoughts of Rachel. He knew what he needed to do, he needed to get drunk. Really really wasted. He knew it was a bad idea but he didn't know what else to do. On his way out the door he ran into Phoebe.

"Whoa, Mr. Happy. What happened to you?"

"Rachel and I broke up."

"Oh no," Phoebe said sadly. "What happened?"

"She's still in love with Ross. She won't go to the wedding. I can't deal with that." He shook his head.

"Where are you going?"

"To get drunk." He explained trying to get around Phoebe and she stopped him.

"Don't do that." She shook her head. "You won't feel better. Actually, you'll just wake up hungover and then you'll feel even worse. So, let's go get you some coffee and get your mind off of other things. Okay?" She asked.

"Okay," He nodded following her into the coffee house.


	7. Stupid Phoebe

_Hey guys, remember me? I'm so so so so so beyond sorry that this took so long. I feel awful, but I had complete writer's block when it came to this story. But I hope you like this chapter, if you even remember what was going on… I promise I won't wait 3 months before updating again. I swear. Alright, I'm sure you're sick of reading my note. So, on with the story!_

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><p>Chandler, Monica, and Joey all stood in the apartment saying their goodbyes to Rachel and Phoebe. Monica and Joey made their rounds hugging Phoebe on the couch, since she was so pregnant she could barely even stand and then they hugged Rachel. When it was finally Chandler's turn to hug her, Phoebe watched the two intently. He knew he had to hug her, because if he didn't Joey and Monica would be suspicious. So, he took a step forward and pulled her in for a hug. It was awkward, there was no denying that, but it also felt so right he almost didn't want to let go. In that hug they said everything they couldn't speak out loud; <em>I'm sorry, don't go, I'll miss you. <em>They pulled away and both avoided looking into each other's eyes. Rachel took a step away from him and he could see she was upset. He hated this, he wanted to comfort her but at the same time he was still angry from the way they left things.

"Are you sure you're not coming, sweetie?" Monica asked grabbing her bag from the floor.

"Yeah, Rach it's not gonna be the same without you." Joey whined and Phoebe cleared her throat loudly. They all ignored Phoebe and Rachel sighed loudly.

"I wish I could come, but it's going to be too hard to watch him get married." She studiously avoided Chandler's gaze when she said that. "Besides, Phoebe needs me!"

"Alright guys, time to go." Chandler said quickly walking toward the door.

"Yeah, we really should go. Call us if Phoebe goes into labor or anything and we'll call you if anything important happens in London." Monica called walking out the door.

"Of course something important will happen, it's London Baby!" Joey yelled following them down the hall. Rachel slammed the door behind them and plopped down in the chair next to Phoebe.

"God, this is so stupid." Rachel mumbled wiping away the tears that were forming.

"You really loved him, didn't you?" Phoebe said after a minute and Rachel nodded. "And why aren't you going to London again?"

"Because I can't watch Ross get married." Phoebe turned toward her, as much as she could with her huge stomach and gave Rachel a stern look.

"Do you still love him?" Phoebe asked raising an eyebrow.

"No," she sighed. "But it's still hard, y'know?"

"I know, Rach, but was it really worth losing Chandler over?" Rachel let out a breath leaning back in her chair.

"I didn't want to, but he just didn't understand."

"You should go after him." Phoebe instructed picking up her book.

"I can't." She said quietly. "I can't," she repeated with more certainty.

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><p>Chandler was miserable. He had spent the last couple of days following Joey around London. He had been chain smoking the entire trip and was sick of Monica and Joey's nagging. He couldn't take how happy Ross was and he really missed Rachel. He wanted to go back and undo their break-up. He was just being stupid, which he realized now. It made sense that she didn't want to go to the wedding. No one wanted to see their ex that happy with someone else, no matter how much time had passed. He took a sip of his drink and decided to stop thinking about Rachel. There was nothing he could do right now, she was on another continent. When he got back to New York he would make it up to her, somehow. He gave Monica a small smile as she sat down at the bar next to him and ordered a shot. He wondered briefly what was up with her, but decided it was probably just this boring rehearsal dinner with all these stuffy English people. But when she ordered another shot, he knew something was up. "You okay, Mon?" He asked turning toward her. She shrugged taking the drink.<p>

"Some guy thought I was Ross's mom." She muttered.

"What?" Chandler asked in shock. There was no way Monica looked anywhere near old enough to be Ross's mom. "That's insane." He said turning towards her and giving her a smile. Monica shook her head.

"No, it's keeping with the theme of the night. I'm never going to get married." She sighed, her head making an audible thump as it hit the bar. Chandler wrapped a supportive arm around her.

"Mon, do you even realize how crazy you sound right now? Of course you'll get married." Monica looked up at him skeptically. "C'mon you're an amazing, independent, beautiful woman. Who wouldn't want you?" He asked sincerely. She leaned over and put her hand on his thigh, squeezing lightly.

"Has anyone ever told you how sweet you are?" She asked with a wide smile. He almost replied that yes, Rachel used to tell him all the time but he kept his mouth closed. He suddenly felt uncomfortable though. Monica was sitting too close and too in his space. He loved Rachel. But after a few more drinks, lines blurred and it didn't seem to matter anymore. So, when Monica invited him up to her room later that night, he didn't say no. When she kissed him, he briefly thought about how she wasn't Rachel. She didn't fit in his arms quite like Rachel did. She didn't smell quite as good as Rachel did. Monica was the wrong girl, but he was so sick of being miserable. At least being with Monica made him feel something.

He woke up the next morning completely confused. His arms were wrapped around someone, a female someone. For a second he thought it was Rachel, before he completely woke up. Then he remembered. Monica. Oh, God. He slept with Monica. This was so so so bad. Why did he keep doing stupid things? He slowly got out of Monica's bed. He hoped he could get out before she woke up. He tiptoed out of her room and breathed a huge sigh of relief when he made it safely to his and Joey's room. He knew he couldn't avoid Monica forever but he could deal with it later. Rachel couldn't find out about it though, or else she'd never take him back. He felt awful. He couldn't believe he did that to Rachel. Or to Monica. She was going to be beyond pissed when she found out about Rachel. He sighed and collapsed on his bed. He could figure it all out later.

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><p>Rachel tapped her foot impatiently as the plane landed. Phoebe had talked her into going to London. Phoebe decided Rachel was too miserable to be of any use to her anyway. Last night while Rachel was sleeping, Phoebe called the airline and booked her a flight for today and Rachel was happy. She convinced herself that watching Ross get married wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, especially if it meant she would get to have Chandler. She thought about calling him ahead of time, but Phoebe convinced her it'd be better to just surprise him. She quickly made her way off the plane, not caring if she had to push other people out of the way. She picked up her suitcase and headed for the hotel that everyone was staying in. The wedding didn't start for another couple of hours, which should give her enough time to talk to Chandler and then get ready.<p>

She took a deep breath outside the hotel and made her way inside. Once she got Chandler's room number, she started to get nervous. What if he didn't forgive her? That was her worst fear. She hadn't really given Chandler much of a reason to trust her. She told herself it would all be okay though, because it would. She could make it up to him somehow. She stopped in front of the door and paused. She realized she had no idea what she was going to say. She felt like a simple apology wasn't quite enough. She made him believe she was still in love with Ross and she felt awful about it. Sure, there were some residual feelings left, but that was expected. She sighed and knocked on the door, eager to just get the reunion over with. She heard muffled voiced coming from inside the room and suddenly was unsure of herself. Maybe this wasn't the right thing to do. She should have just left Chandler go, he was probably over her by now anyway. She heard the lock turn and knew she had to make her decision. She looked down the hallway and realized she probably didn't have enough time to run even if she wanted to. She closed her eyes tightly, clearing her thoughts and took a resolute stance as the door swung open.

At first she thought she had woken Chandler up from a nap. His appearance was disheveled, his hair sticking up in different directions, and his shirt was wrinkled. "Rach," he breathed out in shock his eyes widening.

"Hi," she said quietly giving him a small smile.

"Who is it?" A voice from inside the room asked and an equally disheveled Monica came into view. "Rachel?" She asked confused. Rachel looked between the two of them. Their disheveled appearance, the guilty look on Chandler's face, and she knew exactly what happened. She shot Chandler one last meaningful look before backing out of the room.

"I'll let you guys get back to what you were doing." She said trying to control the tremor in her voice. "I'm just going to get ready and I'll see you guys at the wedding." She was halfway to the elevator when Chandler came running toward her.

"Rach! Wait!" He yelled reaching for her hand and she quickly shook her head.

"I have to get ready for the wedding, Chandler." She said her voice coming out hard as she tried to pull away from him. He wouldn't let her go, though.

"Let me explain," he pleaded.

"I think everything pretty much explains itself." She murmured. "Look, just go be with Monica. I don't really have a right to be mad at you."

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to hurt you." He added when he noticed the tears welling up in Rachel's eyes. He took the hand he was holding and stroked it softly. "I-I, it's just Monica and I were both really upset and drunk last night. It just kind of happened." She nodded looking at the ground, refusing to meet his eyes.

"So, what was going on just now?" He froze trying to figure out how to explain everything.

"I don't know," he shrugged.

"Well, stupid me missed you and I guess, I thought you'd miss me too." She mumbled brushing away a stray tear.

"I did!" He immediately defended. "You were all I thought about this entire trip."

"Until you ended up in bed with Monica," she said bitterly.

"It didn't mean anything, Rach." She shook her head.

"You can't sleep with one of your best friends and say it doesn't mean anything. That's never true. Look, I came here to tell you I realized it hurt more to lose you than to watch Ross marry Emily. Phoebe convinced me to come after you. Stupid Phoebe."

"Rach-" He started again, but she shook her head effectively cutting him off.

"I'll see you at the wedding, Chandler."

"I love you," he said quietly and she stopped turning to face him.

"I thought you did too."

"But I do," he said taking a step toward her.

"I have to get ready," she shook her head. "We can talk later. I just can't do this right now." She gave him one last lingering look and turned to walk away. As soon as she was in the safety of the elevator she let a few more tears slip out. Monica and Chandler. _Monica and Chandler. _She was pretty sure it didn't even hurt this much when Ross slept with Chloe. She couldn't believe she let Phoebe talk her into this.


End file.
